Eulogy?

I dont think about you everyday, I hate to admit it, but I don't. I cant believe its been 8 years since you left too soon. I don't think about you as much because I don't think I could take the What Ifs? that come with that. We have this beautiful child now, that I wish you'd gotten a chance to meet, He is so full of life,and hilarious. You would love him. I cant help but wonder if you had to go for him to come. I wish things were different. I wish my baby sis were turning 20 today. But God knows best.

A whole new world

I have been pretty silent lately. Not because I haven't had much to say, but I simply didn't find time to put words on paper. I started the first of three years of my legal education, and its the third month of it, and THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, yall. Before school started, and really, over the last three years, I was getting mentally prepared for this year. They say the first year is the most difficult, and they were NOT kidding. And then there's other things they didn't tell me. They didn't tell me I might cry some days. Its only a month to finals, and I've already had at least two occasions where I was just overwhelmed and had to find a crying corner. I've never been much of a stresser....UNTIL NOW. There's moments in school when I feel like just running away, far far from from the commerce clause, and promissory estoppel and culpable mental state. SMH. So, for any readers going to law school, I'll tell you one thing they keep telling me, YOU CAN DO IT. It gets better. I cant confirm this yet, but I guess since its my third month and I haven't hitched a ride to farfaraway land, it must be true. One thing I didn't expect here, was the feeling of....Inadequacy. I've been able to do well so far academically in life, and not really work hard for much, so this is an unwelcome change, but even more latent than that, is always questioning if Im smart enough to be in law school, if there was a mistake/loophole that opened a door for me at this fine institution with all these really smart people. I hear other people saying they feel the same way, but then I hear them talk in class and I think, "NO, you're smart enough to be here." All that being said, I'm here and its critical to make the best of it. And I've decided, especially since legal writing is DISGUSTINGLY different from regular writing, I'll try to keep up. On one of those emotional days, one of my classmates said to me in the hallway, "As Christians, it is critical we realize that our worth isn't in the grades we make in law school, but #INCHRISTALONE." That will be my watchword moving forward. Au revoir, mes amis