Tuesday, February 4, 2014

RANDOM THOUGHTS for my most recent trip to Nigeria

Re: Marriage
"I pondered about the transformation that must have occured in me in the last 18months since I last visited Lagos, because now the primary question I got from people was along the lines of 'Where is your husband?' as though they'd seen pictures of a wedding that never happened, their questions a constant reminder of my singlesness. " As I would say to my American friends "a sistah cant even get a second date and they want her to bring a husband? EHarmony tho?"

Re: My weight
"A frequent part of the teeter tottering of my American and Naija self is the constant comment about my weight. One woman who I had not seen in at least 15 years said as soon as she saw me, "WOW, Ayomide, you are a carbon copy of your mother. Ah, you are fat oh!," as the words of a woman stating a fact like, "Your hair is long." But she also said I need to lose weight. A number of other people also casually mentioned my weight and needing to "slim down," even a boy that was interested in beginning a relationship with me.
  I had to re and re and reremind myself that when a Nigerian says "You're fat" it lacks the venom of the same words out of the mouth of an American. Ugh, Such is the life of one who considers herself American and Nigerian.

Re: Online Shopping.
I am about to purchase a pair of shoes while sitting in my law school class. This shoe will arrive at my door in a few days. I cannot help the contrast to Nigeria where this entire idea would be foreign to most people. Think about it, 1. You'd need to have a trustworthy internet and Electricity Connection in the classroom.
2. You'd have to have a readily accepted bank card of some sort. (they have some, just not as widely accepted/used)
3. Mail System: Would have to have a dependable mail system with things like roads and addresses that can be reached without stopping to ask several people, a Mail Box where one could deposit your items without fear it would be stolen.

We're getting there though. Websites like Jumia.com are heading to a great spot in the economy. But, who knows when it will become the norm.

Monday, February 3, 2014


I am amidst reading Americanah by Chimamanda Adiche, and so I will be trying to blog more, and some of them will likely sound a little whimsical, Please Humor me.

Random Lines from the book I love:

"The exaggerated gratitude that comes with immigrant security"

“Dear American Non-Black, if an American Black person is telling you about an experience about being black, please do not eagerly bring up examples from your own life. Don’t say ‘It’s just like when I ...’ You have suffered. Everyone in the world has suffered. But you have not suffered precisely because you are an American Black. Don’t be quick to find alternative explanations for what happened. Don’t say, ‘Oh, it’s not really race, it’s class. Oh, it’s not race, it’s gender. Oh, it’s not race, it’s the cookie monster.’ You see, American Blacks actually don’t WANT it to be race. They would rather not have racist shit happen ...”

Narcissm a way of life of a group of people

I had a conversation with someone today, and wondered afterward:
"How are you a narcissitic know it all who is not very succesful as defined by many, and younger than most people you attempt to boss around."


The answer came to me, this person is a law student.
Law school, a place where being a confident narcisstic know-it-all is not surprising.