Wow. Its been a year since my last post. Literally one year. Well, I'll reminisce in another post. This post is about something I've been thinking a lot about. Gods Grace.
I titled it 'Nothing is about Nothing' from a discussion with two friends about life and the things we think we deserve, earn and should have. My friend and I were discussing yet another woman we know who just got engaged. The holiday season was ripe with engagements, which is quite blissful, if you make sure not to focus on the nakedness of your own ring finger.
My friend commented that "even XYZ" found someone, na wa o. And I had to explain to her that "nothing is about nothing" meaning that there isn't a plan or a way of ensuring you get certain things in life. It is only by the Grace of God.
When I say nothing is about nothing, this includes, the fact that, finding a husband is not about being attractive, we know many (subjectively, anyway) unattractive women who are married and many beautiful women who remain unmarried well into their thirties and even forties. Its not about being mentally stable, this addresses the notion that, well, if she's attractive and remains unmarried, she must be crazy or have baggage or be a "independent woman dont need no man" type. In fact, people typically assume that that is the case.
Its certainly not about having too many degrees, I mean, Michelle Obama... and many women I know who have Doctorates in hard sciences, actual Doctors, Harvard Law degrees are married, and some who stopped at high school diplomas and some credits at the local community college are also married. And some of both groups are single and ready to mingle (lol!).
It sure is not about being sexually active. I know both people with low to non existent body counts and some who have been very expressive and active users of their sexual liberation who are... you guessed it... married.
Though I do have to say, there are times when I see a girl who.... works at McDonalds and didnt read a book other than facebook since high school and is married and I see the guy to whom she is married, I am unimpressed and certainly dont wish for what she has.
Back to my point, getting married is not about anything, there is no formula. Its not a reward for being anything. Neither is having children, getting into Harvard Law School or anything else. It truly is the grace of God that anything good happens. SO, TAKE Heart, my friends, pray, and disabuse yourself from the idea that you don't have XYZ because you aren't XYZ.
(Well except to get into Harvard Law School with a 147 LSAT score, that IS the reason you did not get into Harvard Law School).
N.B. I recognize that getting married or having kids is not the ultimate goal/desire of everyone, my statements here are more directed towards those who wish to be married, have kids, or attain anything else I discussed above.