MEN ARE LIARS

This is not a stereotypical blog post about the affinity of men for the non-truth. Lol, while that would be true, women lie too.

Anyway, I was just thinking about some of the crazy lies that men have told for such a long time about women that we believe to be true but may not be so.

1. Women are fragile

This is especially funny because I read somewhere that the threshold of pain that women can take is generally higher than men's. Example: Childbirth. I heard there is a new machine that simulates the level of pain that women encounter in labor. Only for the extremely brave of man-kind of course. I mean one could argue that not all women go through childbirth, and not all men cry over papercuts. But the fact that women endure this pain everyday, is enough to show that we have a much higher capacity for pain that men.

And let's not even talk about the monthly ummmm....pain that many women endure, even those who have decided they're not bearing children. I still think we should have a discretionary day of every month when it gets too real.

2. Women are too emotionally invested

I was thinking the other day,I have two friends who have names of significant others tattooed on their body....both are men. Also, try ignoring a guy after talking to them a lot. They get in their getting real quick, they all just show it differently, done by bloating up your phone with text messages... calls.... I'd attach screenshots but....that would be rude.AGAIN, this one can goo either way, but my point is that it's not solely a woman thing.

3. Women talk too much.

This one is just Soooo not true. Studies have shown that this simply isn't true. The study that said that women do gas been long discounted s incorrect user people still believe it.
Women are naturally better listeners and spend some time listening, also considering the male ego and general desire to be heard, men talk more than women, but we've all heard the opposite so much that women try to tone it down so we could be less talkative. So, ladies,I say, talk! TALK TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT. We have some catching up to do.

As usual, here are my musings, and they are EPIC

I AM NOT MY HAIR

I just cut all my hair off........again. Lol! 5years ago in 2008, I cut all my hair off to go natural. I started again and BOY, it was a process. So why did I cut my hair again..........

Good Question. I figure a lot of people will be asking me that question so, Ive come up with a list of some true, some funny, some just weird possible reasons.

1. To be a short haired model
2. To be like India Arie
3. Its getting HOT
4. It started falling off because of stress
5. Had to get it before the chemo
6. I just wanna mess with people's minds
7. Trying to be like Amber Rose
8. I lost a bet
9. My boyfriend made me
10. Try something different
11. Save on my water bill
12. Save on my get ready time in the morning
13. Get in touch with my roots

Im gonna stop now. Feel free to pic from this list. In other news, I am STILL not my hair.

Small Caveat about my blog

Having had my blog page for a few years now, I often reread old posts and I am tempted to rewrite some of it or just delete some posts that I feel reflect some REALLY immature reasoning. I say this to say, If you are reading my blog and you read something that sounds immature, REST ASSURED I probably agree with you, but for ......artistic integrity...(thats my excuse anyway) Im choosing not to delete them, because sometimes it is interesting to see the date-stamp and remember how silly I was back then.

ANYWAY!

AS YOU WERE!

The Case of the Missing Rings

Its 3a.m. on a Saturday morning and I'm still awake. And random posts like this are the reason I renamed by blog "Epic Musings", because I am musing, and I think its quite epic.

So the case of the missing rings. I am noticing the Missing Rings more often than I'd like. You know the ring I'm talking about....from the left ring finger??? of many very successful motivated women(lawyers & other professionals). As a law student, I often attend firm receptions and on campus firm events and I don't know what it is about these firms that makes the women stay unmarried (especially the women whose skin tones are similar to mine). Now don't get me wrong,I do encounter many married women who work at firms, some with children, in fact, I recently interviewed with one where the lady was a woman of color and mentioned her attorney husband.

Is it the long hours? The motivation coupled with being intimidating? Is it an over-powering drive that forces women to choose between career and family? Is it (for minority women) a desire to only date within their race coupled with the unequal numbers of male to female minorities in high-paying careers?

I wish I had the answer. I say this as a soon to be lawyer, who is very single and desires to have a husband and a family in the near future, I am concerned. Granted, everyone's path is different, we all have our lives to live, and there isn't a formula that promises to yield all the things I want: Career Stability and Success, Family, Work/Life Balance and what not. I look forward to figuring that as I go. May God help me!

Facts of life

Until I'm blessed with a car, car2go is saving me a lot of awkward moments but taking my $$$

Eulogy?

I dont think about you everyday, I hate to admit it, but I don't. I cant believe its been 8 years since you left too soon. I don't think about you as much because I don't think I could take the What Ifs? that come with that. We have this beautiful child now, that I wish you'd gotten a chance to meet, He is so full of life,and hilarious. You would love him. I cant help but wonder if you had to go for him to come. I wish things were different. I wish my baby sis were turning 20 today. But God knows best.

A whole new world

I have been pretty silent lately. Not because I haven't had much to say, but I simply didn't find time to put words on paper. I started the first of three years of my legal education, and its the third month of it, and THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, yall. Before school started, and really, over the last three years, I was getting mentally prepared for this year. They say the first year is the most difficult, and they were NOT kidding. And then there's other things they didn't tell me. They didn't tell me I might cry some days. Its only a month to finals, and I've already had at least two occasions where I was just overwhelmed and had to find a crying corner. I've never been much of a stresser....UNTIL NOW. There's moments in school when I feel like just running away, far far from from the commerce clause, and promissory estoppel and culpable mental state. SMH. So, for any readers going to law school, I'll tell you one thing they keep telling me, YOU CAN DO IT. It gets better. I cant confirm this yet, but I guess since its my third month and I haven't hitched a ride to farfaraway land, it must be true. One thing I didn't expect here, was the feeling of....Inadequacy. I've been able to do well so far academically in life, and not really work hard for much, so this is an unwelcome change, but even more latent than that, is always questioning if Im smart enough to be in law school, if there was a mistake/loophole that opened a door for me at this fine institution with all these really smart people. I hear other people saying they feel the same way, but then I hear them talk in class and I think, "NO, you're smart enough to be here." All that being said, I'm here and its critical to make the best of it. And I've decided, especially since legal writing is DISGUSTINGLY different from regular writing, I'll try to keep up. On one of those emotional days, one of my classmates said to me in the hallway, "As Christians, it is critical we realize that our worth isn't in the grades we make in law school, but #INCHRISTALONE." That will be my watchword moving forward. Au revoir, mes amis

CHANGE is..........unfamiliar

There's nothing like returning to place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have been altered.- Nelson Mandela

I often wished I was blessed with the gift of words, to be able to weave together beautiful sentences that describe exactly what is on my heart. Alas, I was not, so I enjoy quoting others who were. The above quote by Nelson Mandela explains what I have been unable to about my recent trip to my home country. I experiences variety of emotions. Anxiety, Anger, Joy, Peace, Love



Anxiety:

Most of my friends remember me telling them before I left, I dont want to get kidnapped or maried in Nigeria. While I was mostly kidding, my anxiety about my personal physical safety was atop my mind. I felt like when people hear my accent, they would assume I was rich and being in a place with high poverty and crime rates, its just a bit worrisome. Yes, I grew up there, but that did not serve to reduce my anxiety because I had experienced some of that violence firsthand and heard countless more stories.



Anger:

After a few days may shoulders relaxed, I began to smile easier and not have a panic attack when my parents were out of my view, then came anger. I begun to get angry at what litle had changed about the country. NINE YEARS LATER, and the roads that shortened the lifespan of my parents vehicles were just as bad, in the best cases. Traffic in some places remained unchanged or worsened.

Joy:

Incidentally, my name means *my joy has come* and this was certainly the case for some of the members of my biological and church family who had not seen me in 9years, but more so for me. It was very good to be seen. To be overwhelmed with joy in knowing that, I didnt DREAM these places. They exist, and are STILL THERE! There was a joy in knowing that this place is home in one sense, and even though ONLY in very small ways, were changing a little.

Peace

The Peace was definitely a welcome relief. It was like lifting heavy load off an old woman's back. "AHHHHHH" she exclaims, "Thank you, my child." The peace that came to me on this trip was certainly unique. I don't believe that a tourist could ever feel this in a strangers land. There was a moment when I'd hear someone yell my name, and AHHHHH, like the sound from Sprite commercials, no need to correct them. No need to say, "No, its AYE- O, not AY owe." Just that peace that reminds me that THIS place, right here was home, and no matter how long I am away in diaspora, this place would always be home. And I cant say I mind that!

Love

WHATS new with Miss Ayo

Its about as good a time as any for a new post. Its August 2012, in exactly a week, I will be starting orientation for law school. LAW SCHOOL!!!! Im definitely freaking out! WHAT ifs dominate my mind like mosquitoes(and more) in a puddle in Lagos.

And when I'm NOT freaking out, I am calmly content that I am as prepared as I could possibly be for an undertaking that will forever impact my life.

And when I'm NOT doing that, Im excited about the journey, the next step in my journey to

Ayomide Shittu, J.D. or

Attorney Ayomide Shittu

and of course

possibly

The Honorable Ayomide Shittu. ****babysteps, Ayo, baby steps!

And of course when I'm not doing that, I'm wondering/hoping my friendships will be intact when its all over! And whatever changes occur will be positive, only.

In other news, Hook 'em horns, BUT I am still a VERY PROUD BEARKAT!

Class of 2015, #LetsGO

This is what happens when your random rant is too much to put on facebook

I just had a moment today, and decided to blog about it. I am usually less impulsive about my blog posts, but everyone is allowed their 5 seconds of madness....right?



I get really angry when people try to tell me to lower my standards about who and what I want to end up with as if it Impossible. Yes, Im 21 and would like to someday get married, but knowing what I know about what my ideal road to marriage looks like, I have come to the conclusion that the "someday" may be a LONG time from now. And for now, I am okay with that. It really bothers me that other people seem to be unable to respect that even though how I envision going from Meet to Friendship to dating to engaged and married will go is untraditional yet very traditional and old school in a sense. I don't want to go into too much detail about what I want, BUT, its very easy to see (on the days I choose to be objective) when I don't see those things in a person or situation.

A friend is getting married in a month and I went to their wedding page and read their "Our Story" and was almost moved to tears because it mirrors what I want so YES, even if I have to wait till I'm 48 to get married, if its to the right man, then its 48 years too short. Because other people's standards are different and in some cases, lower, doesn't mean I need to give in on the things I don't want. The way I see it, the things you want in a spouse (as long as they are not clearly unreasonable)should closer to a multiple choice LSAT test question and less like an open ended question. Let me explain. In an open ended test question, especially if you are a student like me, that question gives you a bit of room to do what you want with the answer, it can go in different direction, so that means that question was designed to fit a numerous possibilities of right answer. But in a multiple choice test question, while some of the other options look good, some are outright WRONG, and then there is one that fits the best. So, if the things a person wants in a spouse only happen to bracket in a few men in the country, so be it. If the goal is to keep it as open as possible then my list would look something like this

Things I want in a husband 1. A male human born before 1989.

Anyway, agree or disagree, I just want people to stop being negative and telling me what I can or cannot find.