Does he have to wear his ring??

It is crazy to me when I see men who are married who dont wear their wedding rings. I dont understand it at all. Like, WHY. I mean, I understand that Men should do the approaching, so ring or no ring, he can approach women, and 2, women should wear their rings to avoid the risk of unsuspecting men approaching them. STILL none of these make it reasonable for a guy not to wear his wedding ring.

WHOMEVER my husband is (if I have one....) better know the day I catch him running around town without his wedding ring is the day I...... I dont event know what to say, I guess it'll be a big fight!

Thats all for me on this short topic.

BUT are you serious tho?

Short Post about Guys:

I was at an event this weekend where a discussion was happening about men and women relationships, the usual suspects came up..... Men dont approach women....Women are intimidating...Women dont seem available....Women need to make moves too... and whatever else you can come up with, so my friend who is moreso a big brother gets up there while his wife was speaking and said something to the tune of "Oh, I didnt think y'all were serious." In reference to the entire conversation because he couldn't take the people in the audience and who had spoken (of which, I admit, I was one) seriously because, it wasn't clear that people were really looking for anything long term. Or at least serious about it. So of course I've been thinking about it and my conclusion is this WOMEN HAVE A TALENT FOR KNOWING WHEN A GUY IS SERIOUS AND WHEN HE IS NOT. The difference is how we act about it. Some women will sit around waiting for him to become serious. Some are satisfied with less than serious because, at least they've got a man.
And when I say serious, I mean about his life, his future, the purpose of pursuing a woman, a relationship, what he wants in a wife, all these things are apparent quicker than men realize.

Now, I realize Im probably generalizing, but in my experience I usually very quickly shrug off the guys who I know are not serious. Its something about not having someone waste your time. If you are not really serious about what you want out of your life and a relationship with me, you will get slid off into a zone of casual friendship. I don't know exactly what the tell is, maybe its the "What are you wearing" questions or the numerous conversations that aren't really about anything of substance.
I say this because I know theres a few things I need to know about someone attempting to get one of my most valued possessions (my time). And when a guy isn't interested in getting answers to similar things that he should want to know about me, if he's curious about long term, I am put on alert about his seriousness or lack of.

Im not saying you need to have a 12 steps to marriage plan with every woman you interact with, but I have trouble believing that a guy will just meet a girl and THEN he becomes ready for marriage. I believe that more guys sort of make that decision in their mind before any phenomenal woman walks into their lives. This is why I think we hear of stories where a man dates a woman for 5...7years, she wants marriage, he doesnt, she gives him an ultimatum, he walks, Or he says hes not ready for all that, and then the next woman he dates for...6months and marries. I think that decision has to happen in his head without any prodding or pushing.

So my advice is, Quickly evaluate if a guy is serious or not. If it appears he is not, QUICKLY move on. You're better off without him. Until a guy is serious, every woman he comes in contact with will be PURPOSELY wasting her time with him

Monday fail

Went home to Houston this weekend to see my family. It was bittersweet. It was wonderful to see my moms and brother but definitely did not want to go back to Austin. Havent seen them since.. September,  I think.
As I drove off, my 7yr old bro TJ (who I adore) yells STOP! then runs to the car, opens up the back door, grabs a packet of cookies he had left from church earlier, and then shuts that door, opens my door, kisses me on the cheek and runs off. I was just.....broken. I wanted to turn around and scream, "Please PLEASE DONT MAKE ME GO BACK to...... law school." Lol.

Monday after i  had a panic moment while getting dressed. Tried to put on my belt and freaked out cuz it was much too short to go around my waist. I was like, Dang, I knew I added a few lbs but this is ridic. So, I try again and then I took a good look at the belts shiny hoops and realized it was not my belt, rather its T.J's.
Tender moments on a Monday morning.

Miss my baybay

MEN ARE LIARS

This is not a stereotypical blog post about the affinity of men for the non-truth. Lol, while that would be true, women lie too.

Anyway, I was just thinking about some of the crazy lies that men have told for such a long time about women that we believe to be true but may not be so.

1. Women are fragile

This is especially funny because I read somewhere that the threshold of pain that women can take is generally higher than men's. Example: Childbirth. I heard there is a new machine that simulates the level of pain that women encounter in labor. Only for the extremely brave of man-kind of course. I mean one could argue that not all women go through childbirth, and not all men cry over papercuts. But the fact that women endure this pain everyday, is enough to show that we have a much higher capacity for pain that men.

And let's not even talk about the monthly ummmm....pain that many women endure, even those who have decided they're not bearing children. I still think we should have a discretionary day of every month when it gets too real.

2. Women are too emotionally invested

I was thinking the other day,I have two friends who have names of significant others tattooed on their body....both are men. Also, try ignoring a guy after talking to them a lot. They get in their getting real quick, they all just show it differently, done by bloating up your phone with text messages... calls.... I'd attach screenshots but....that would be rude.AGAIN, this one can goo either way, but my point is that it's not solely a woman thing.

3. Women talk too much.

This one is just Soooo not true. Studies have shown that this simply isn't true. The study that said that women do gas been long discounted s incorrect user people still believe it.
Women are naturally better listeners and spend some time listening, also considering the male ego and general desire to be heard, men talk more than women, but we've all heard the opposite so much that women try to tone it down so we could be less talkative. So, ladies,I say, talk! TALK TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT. We have some catching up to do.

As usual, here are my musings, and they are EPIC

I AM NOT MY HAIR

I just cut all my hair off........again. Lol! 5years ago in 2008, I cut all my hair off to go natural. I started again and BOY, it was a process. So why did I cut my hair again..........

Good Question. I figure a lot of people will be asking me that question so, Ive come up with a list of some true, some funny, some just weird possible reasons.

1. To be a short haired model
2. To be like India Arie
3. Its getting HOT
4. It started falling off because of stress
5. Had to get it before the chemo
6. I just wanna mess with people's minds
7. Trying to be like Amber Rose
8. I lost a bet
9. My boyfriend made me
10. Try something different
11. Save on my water bill
12. Save on my get ready time in the morning
13. Get in touch with my roots

Im gonna stop now. Feel free to pic from this list. In other news, I am STILL not my hair.

Small Caveat about my blog

Having had my blog page for a few years now, I often reread old posts and I am tempted to rewrite some of it or just delete some posts that I feel reflect some REALLY immature reasoning. I say this to say, If you are reading my blog and you read something that sounds immature, REST ASSURED I probably agree with you, but for ......artistic integrity...(thats my excuse anyway) Im choosing not to delete them, because sometimes it is interesting to see the date-stamp and remember how silly I was back then.

ANYWAY!

AS YOU WERE!

The Case of the Missing Rings

Its 3a.m. on a Saturday morning and I'm still awake. And random posts like this are the reason I renamed by blog "Epic Musings", because I am musing, and I think its quite epic.

So the case of the missing rings. I am noticing the Missing Rings more often than I'd like. You know the ring I'm talking about....from the left ring finger??? of many very successful motivated women(lawyers & other professionals). As a law student, I often attend firm receptions and on campus firm events and I don't know what it is about these firms that makes the women stay unmarried (especially the women whose skin tones are similar to mine). Now don't get me wrong,I do encounter many married women who work at firms, some with children, in fact, I recently interviewed with one where the lady was a woman of color and mentioned her attorney husband.

Is it the long hours? The motivation coupled with being intimidating? Is it an over-powering drive that forces women to choose between career and family? Is it (for minority women) a desire to only date within their race coupled with the unequal numbers of male to female minorities in high-paying careers?

I wish I had the answer. I say this as a soon to be lawyer, who is very single and desires to have a husband and a family in the near future, I am concerned. Granted, everyone's path is different, we all have our lives to live, and there isn't a formula that promises to yield all the things I want: Career Stability and Success, Family, Work/Life Balance and what not. I look forward to figuring that as I go. May God help me!

Facts of life

Until I'm blessed with a car, car2go is saving me a lot of awkward moments but taking my $$$

Eulogy?

I dont think about you everyday, I hate to admit it, but I don't. I cant believe its been 8 years since you left too soon. I don't think about you as much because I don't think I could take the What Ifs? that come with that. We have this beautiful child now, that I wish you'd gotten a chance to meet, He is so full of life,and hilarious. You would love him. I cant help but wonder if you had to go for him to come. I wish things were different. I wish my baby sis were turning 20 today. But God knows best.

A whole new world

I have been pretty silent lately. Not because I haven't had much to say, but I simply didn't find time to put words on paper. I started the first of three years of my legal education, and its the third month of it, and THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, yall. Before school started, and really, over the last three years, I was getting mentally prepared for this year. They say the first year is the most difficult, and they were NOT kidding. And then there's other things they didn't tell me. They didn't tell me I might cry some days. Its only a month to finals, and I've already had at least two occasions where I was just overwhelmed and had to find a crying corner. I've never been much of a stresser....UNTIL NOW. There's moments in school when I feel like just running away, far far from from the commerce clause, and promissory estoppel and culpable mental state. SMH. So, for any readers going to law school, I'll tell you one thing they keep telling me, YOU CAN DO IT. It gets better. I cant confirm this yet, but I guess since its my third month and I haven't hitched a ride to farfaraway land, it must be true. One thing I didn't expect here, was the feeling of....Inadequacy. I've been able to do well so far academically in life, and not really work hard for much, so this is an unwelcome change, but even more latent than that, is always questioning if Im smart enough to be in law school, if there was a mistake/loophole that opened a door for me at this fine institution with all these really smart people. I hear other people saying they feel the same way, but then I hear them talk in class and I think, "NO, you're smart enough to be here." All that being said, I'm here and its critical to make the best of it. And I've decided, especially since legal writing is DISGUSTINGLY different from regular writing, I'll try to keep up. On one of those emotional days, one of my classmates said to me in the hallway, "As Christians, it is critical we realize that our worth isn't in the grades we make in law school, but #INCHRISTALONE." That will be my watchword moving forward. Au revoir, mes amis